Celebrating Failure 

I love to fail. No, now c'mon, that's not exactly accurate. But I do genuinely feel it's merit and it's not something I shy away from. What, exactly, is so profoundly scary about failing for you? We know that failure offers valuable information. There are memes galore about fear of failure and how it's the number one thing that holds us back from greatness. So why do we try so hard not to fail and regard a specific version of success as the only acceptable outcome? If I try and fail, then.....what? The sun ceases to heat the earth? All the good you've ever done becomes undone? Is there not something so beautiful about just trying things out and not attaching to the outcome?
When is the last time you did this? What happened? Are you glad you tried, even if it didn't quite work out the way you might have envisioned or hoped for?
A friend of mine bought a very popular boutique a few years ago. By most people's definition, she was a big success. She tried her best. There were certain things she liked, but too many that she didn't. And once she understood she probably shouldn't be crying every night or dreading the incessant demands that being a business owner brings, she landed on the decision to close the doors and follow that persistent voice in her head......she wanted to teach yoga and travel the world.
Being tied down to a brick and mortar establishment wasn't the path for her. She is so very happy now and free from the wonderment and regret that may have plagued her had she not ever tried. 'What if?' and 'Should I?' can follow us all over the globe, begging us to live in regret. Trying and failing and having no expectations other than hope alleviates the burden of an antiquated definition of success. Trying IS success. And failure should be celebrated because it means you fucking gave it your all.
Let's celebrate our failures! I'm talking throw a parade and invite everyone you know celebrating. You tried, I celebrate you for that. You showed up, I cheer you on for making that choice. You keep going after your goals and allow failure to lead you in the direction you're ultimately supposed to go, hurray! You see failure as a necessary and natural part of the process of figuring out your passions and life's purpose, Every YES!
I love the term 'falling ass-backwards'. So many of us can laughingly relate to the head-scratching state of the happy life we're living and confusion over just how we landed here. Spontaneously signing up for a still life painting class and bonding with the handsome painter next to you over just how horrible you both are at delivering paint to a canvas offers a glimpse of your vulnerability and confidence to try new things without needing to excel. As a result of trying something new, you find the most loving relationship of your life and you wind up moving with him to an alpaca farm in Peru. Your reaction to failure spoke so highly of your character and ability to enjoy and learn things for the sake of having fun and understanding that we won't be automatically excellent at everything on our first try. We have to be willing to try and fail to create such a powerful opportunity to experience this deeper layer of our psyche and share this part of ourselves with another person.
Again wraps around the question, 'Who would you be if you knew you couldn't fail?' I'm going to pose a different question: Who would you be if you celebrate all that failure brings?
I know the things that have come easily to me in life are the things I'm most prone to take for granted. But the hard-won stuff, that I own because I earned it, and didn't give up or get so discouraged I convinced myself it wasn't worth my time to stay with it? That stuff is why I love myself.
Does that mean we should never learn from our failures that the answer is to quit? Hell no! That's what trial and error are all about. It opens us up to close the door on one thing to pursue another exciting option. That's basically the entire premise behind dating, right? If one relationship doesn't work out and we give it the power to question our ability to love and be loved, we cease to remain open to that wonderous big love that will come our way if we don't block it.
Go out and try something new. But this time, bring the mindset that maybe you'll be good at it, and maybe you won't and that's not ultimately what matters. Trying is success. Enjoy your day.
By Lara Falberg