Your divine self is the source of your greatest personal transformation. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you’re always being pulled toward what you truly desire as you grow and expand along with the rest of the Universe.

Resistance, however, can create more trouble and challenge than necessary for us while we’re trying to become the greatest versions of ourselves. It traps us in a whirlwind of our own negative thoughts, beliefs, and feelings so that our personal transformation slows down — sometimes so much that it can even feel like we’re moving backwards as we find ourselves having to deal with other problems that arise.

So, what can we do? Force ourselves to push through the pain and agony of what we’re resisting? That certainly seems to be what most people do. After all, life isn’t a fairy tale, right?

Or we could try positive thinking, but what good does that do when deep down we feel and believe something negative about trying to achieve what we want? Sometimes “positive thinking” seems like the equivalent of going into a state of denial.

In truth, the most appropriate and most effective way to deal with resistance comes with building awareness. Once we gain awareness, we’ll know that disabling resistance has everything to do with how skilled we are at changing our perspectives.

Acknowledge Resistance

You’ll know you’re in a state of resistance by what your emotions are telling you, because your emotions are always a reflection of your true self. You may feel fear, shame, guilt, or frustration in moving toward something you truly want. Know that this is okay.

First, avoid distracting yourself to remove yourself from the emotional discomfort. Instead, allow yourself to fully feel these negative emotions and accept them for what they are. Let your emotions physically flow out of you if this is what you need to release them.

Find Genuine Positives

Positive thinking doesn’t work by trying to pretend that the negative stuff is actually good stuff. You can’t force yourself into liking or wanting something that is not in alignment with the desires of your true self, so for positive thinking to work, you have to look for aspects of what you want that genuinely excite you and bring you joy.

For instance, something as simple as a bird singing in the distance counts as a small positive (as long as you genuinely like the sound of birds chirping). The more you look for positives — even the smallest ones — the more you’ll come to realize that nothing in life is really black or white, good or bad. It’s all grey, and it’s up to you to choose whether you wan to focus on the lightness or the darkness.

Flow Toward the Solution

Denying your resistant thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are keeping you from getting something you want isn’t the answer to moving forward. That’s why acknowledging them is key. What you really need to do is set your resistance aside after acknowledging it so that you can focus on all the genuine positive aspects you identified in the last step.

Focusing on what you do want is what moves you closer to it. Focusing on what you don’t want, on the other hand, pushes against the problem and exasperates it. Think of it like a river: you want to flow effortlessly with the current rather than struggle to swim against it until you reach a point of exhaustion.

Repeat this three-step process every day, twice a day (morning and evening) if needed. Use a journal and keep a list to remind yourself of the positives. Over time, your beliefs and emotions will shift into harmony with your positive thoughts, which will naturally eliminate resistance and help you flow in right the direction toward what your true self desires.